A friend of mine wrote this for a magazine..
Yes I’ve read *Censored*. It’s a compelling story of personal transformation. A story of a man who learns how to pick up women and the techniques he practiced along the way to become a master seducer. It is an entertaining read but presents only one side of a community and industry right under our noses but rarely spoken about openly. So let me give you a proper introduction to the booming seduction community in Melbourne and take you on a journey down the rabbit hole just as I did, five years ago.
*Censored* is a book about The Author’s journey into the seduction community and provides a behind the scenes look at the learning and selling of the secrets of attracting women. It also chronicles his own journey, from being an unattractive bald writer who couldn’t pick up, even while hanging out with rock stars backstage at rock concerts, to becoming a godlike figure among the seduction community. It’s a book that quite a few people have read and made the game of seduction a common talking point among both men and women. Since becoming a professional dating and lifestyle coach three years ago it’s also something I find myself discussing whenever somebody asks me, “So what do you do?”
The book prominently presents the idea that there are certain methods of attracting women that men can learn. This could be through the use of rehearsed lines, stories and understanding how certain actions cause particular reactions and generate attraction from women. Examples of this are using a magic tricks to get a woman’s attention or knowing that if you teasingly half turn away while she is talking to you she may grab at you thinking you are leaving. Despite exposing many tricks of the trade, The Game only hints at what actually is the most important part of being able to attract the opposite sex.
I found out about *Censored* from a friend in 2005. As an avid video gamer with few friends I instantly and eagerly journeyed down the rabbit hole into the community of wannabe seducers, pick up artists and rehabilitating social outcasts. When I first started reading this book, I had a very limited social circle of male friends and had been in only one relationship at the age of 21. After reading the book I, like many other men searched for more information on the internet. What I found was a mailing list of a group of men in Melbourne studying and practicing the various methods of attraction every Saturday night in bars around the city.
Attending a few of these nights I quickly realised a large difference in the range of people in this group. There were men with no social confidence like me, but also men who were quite confident and had great success with women, who simply wanted to be even better. There was a certain overcoming of shame when joining this group that instantly bonded you with the other men. It was as if the desire to be better with women and to act upon it was supposed to feel like a dirty little secret. That there was a shame attached to needing to learn this from a book, or a community. A shame that made you feel that you were somehow inferior than everyone else in society because for whatever reason, you never learnt how to do it off your dad, your brother or your friends. Suddenly finding other guys who felt the same way was like a huge weight being lifted from your chest, yet nobody wanted their little secret to get out. Over time I realised this was really unfortunate, because anybody who strives to be the best they can be should really be commended, not ashamed.
Teaching men professionally to be better with women over a three year period I’ve noticed this as a recurring theme among many men in Australian society, and the first thing I’ve needed to explain. I tell every one of them the same thing. I tell them that the right friends and women for you would think better of you for wanting to be a better man, not worse of you. Getting over the fear of social ridicule and embarrassment we found was the biggest hurdle for men to get through when joining the community and when undertaking any learning of the art of approaching, meeting and picking up women.
The community in 2005 when I joined consisted of about 15 guys meeting every Saturday night to get together to meet women and practice their skills. Now, the community is approaching 3000 members with regular dinners, adventures, hikes and charity events. There is even a growing number of female members wanting to get better at attracting quality men. People join the community wanting to learn to how to attract the opposite sex but quickly find out it’s a lot different to what they expected. Over the years the community has evolved into a holistic men’s movement that explores every aspect of what it means to be a successful male in this day and age. I always pose the question to new guys; Instead of trying to work out methods to attract somebody, why not simply become attractive? Over time many guys in the community started realising that actually becoming passionate in things outside of chasing women was making them attractive to women in a roundabout way. As if taking their attention away from women and putting into being an awesome man was actually the best way to attract awesome women. This is how a seduction community became a lifestyle, wealth, health, seduction and success community and now stands by it’s tagline, “Building better men”. Because now, men who had come to learn to master the game of pick-up suddenly realised they could master the game of life. They realised that if you decide to take a stand in your love life and are dedicated to mastering that, why not do that in all areas of your life? Why not open up your mind to the idea of living your life the way you want, being the person you want, and then working to get there.
For me personally this meant becoming socially competent, it meant getting into the gym, learning about style and making female friends for the sake of friendship to learn what women truly offer. To see what really there is to love from a woman besides a funny feeling in my lower half when I see one walk past in a sexy little black dress. Most of all it meant learning to develop my own life into something I loved, doing the things I loved. When you start living your life from a place of going for what you want and being who you want to be and working to get there, then people will want to be part of that life. This is confidence, this is attraction. Since doing this I’ve dated many amazing intelligent beautiful women, from models to dancers to amazingly talented artists and musicians, each teaching me amazing things about myself, about women, and about a life. All this success came from me looking at my life and simply deciding I wanted better, from life and from myself. It’s a great thing for anybody to look at their own life and consider. To have interesting things to say, to be interesting, do interesting things. To be a challenge, do challenging things that will make you better, challenges others to do the same. To meet amazing people, to be amazing, do amazing things for people. Go to the sort of events you’d meet these people at. Mingle, befriend, and offer value to everybody you meet.
Sure it is true that rehearsed routines and lines can work for a short period of time to attract a woman. But a man with low self-esteem issues who can pretend to be confident with seven hours worth of good material to attract women is still a man with low self-esteem issues in the morning. Women are smart, they’ll see this. To start a relationship with a woman who is not only right for you but will stay with you for who you are, that is something that involves a lot more than reading a few online manuals on seduction. It involves getting clear on what you value in your life, what you value in a partner, and what value you can offer her, then building yourself and your lifestyle from there.
It was with this understanding that after working for two years for one of America’s biggest seduction companies Pickup101 that I took a pay cut and gave up a job that flew me around Australia to move into a garage in North Fitzroy to work for The Natural Lifestyles, a company focussed on teaching both seductive skills as well as giving people the tools and knowledge to build their ultimate life and self. Through teaching seduction as well as classes in goal setting, massage, personal development, health and nutrition I now work with guys to develop not just an ability to meet and seduce women, but to create a successful life. At Pickup101 I was teaching guys to act like a confident man, With The Natural Lifestyles I work with the other coaches to actually make them a confident man. Because when you think about it, somebody who has their life together who knows who they are and goes for what they want is always somebody you’re going to be attracted to.
Tim is a dating and lifestyle coach for The Natural Lifestyles http://www.thenaturallifestyles.com and runs an improv/social confidence class Approach Energy http://www.approachenergy.com
