over-dosage

i took a risk
and laid an open path
straight to my heart
there werent any checkpoints, there were any blockades
just an open field straight to my heart

i figured being nice and gentlemanly,
would get you the girl u really liked.
that if u put in your best,
she'll return it sooner or later with love.

now all i see is an empty field
no one ever tried to walk towards it,
only standing along the side and running away

i guess i need to keep my emotions in check
and started what i did 5 years ago.
when i become a massive playboy
because i kept my heart hidden in the dark
broken and unwanted.

i didnt hurt anyone's feelings as i told them i was fooling around
unlike the guys that tell girls they love them & only dump them thereafter.

girls wanted me than.
they don't want me now.
my childhood friend healed that but i wont be seeing her anytime soon.

each time i am upset or feeling lonely, i'll post here.
then take a pill and sleep

should i?

i'll decide soon.