Quotes

quotes from bash.org lol..

I was in biology class once, and the teacher said there was sugar in sperm
And a girl asked why doesn't it taste sweet then
When she realised what she said her face became red like a spanked monkey ass
Then the teacher said, because you taste sweetness with the front of your tongue, not the part of your tongue back in your throat
The girl started crying and left class ^^

<@David> Yay I get laid today! Been a month.... needing it by now
<@Sony> ...........
<@Sony> TMI TMI TMI
<@David> Only a few hundred pounds but its better than nothing
Thanks for the info
<@David> eh?
<@David> damn i meant PAID
<@David> I get PAID today
<@David> dammit


#369 +(5783)- [X]

Girls are like internet domain names, the ones I like are already taken.
well, you can stil get one from a strange country :-P


<_kr4m3r> so many fucking criminals, its bullshit
heh, if we sent all the criminals to some empty continent and just left them there to die
and showed up like 50yrs later like, "sup?"
whatd u think they'd say?
something along the lines of, "G`Day mate"


my girlfriend broke up with me and sent me pix of her and her new boyfriend in bed
ouch.
yeah.i sent them to her dad

WallJam7: roses are red
WallJam7: violets are blue
WallJam7: all of my base
WallJam7: are belong to you


#593081 +(4400)- [X]

I wish my lawn was emo, so it would cut itself.


Firefly> Time for my prayers:
Our Father, who 0wnz heaven, j00 r0ck!
May all 0ur base someday be belong to you!
May j00 0wn earth just like j00 0wn heaven.
Give us this day our warez, mp3z, and pr0n through a phat pipe.
And cut us some slack when we act like n00b lamerz, just as we teach n00bz when they act lame on us.
Please don't give us root access on some poor d00d'z box when we're too pissed off to think about what's right and wrong, and if you could keep the fbi off our backs, we'd appreciate it.
For j00 0wn r00t on all our b0x3s 4ever and ever, 4m3n.


#583977 +(4305)- [X]

some girl on the street asked if i was saved yet
i told her i saved at the checkpoint a couple minutes back
and can reload from there if i die
she was confused

#454203 +(4311)- [X]

there was this one time I was wanking to porn...
... I kept a javascript tutorial open in another window so my parents didn't start wondering why I was always on the desktop with no windows showing
so I'm just about to splurge when I suddenly hear my dad coming up the stairs
alt-tabbed to the other window and tried to pull my boxers up... computer stalled JUST THEN as my dad was opening the door
I just stood up and was like "fuck... dad this honestly isn't what it looks like"
and he glanced at the screen and said "I sure hope so because it looks like you're masturbating to a fucking javascript tutorial

#420855 +(4288)- [X]

gentoogod: omg dude
gentoogod: today i might the stupidest 3 people i ever met
gentoogod: thier 3 brains combined couldnt solve the dilemma they faced today
siral21: what was it
gentoogod: ok before i say this
gentoogod: 100% true, not one second of a lie
gentoogod: this lady went into mcdonalds today and ordered a big mac for her
gentoogod: and ordered 2 mcgrittles one for each kid. one had bacon one without
gentoogod: her sons are around 18 or 19 so not infants
gentoogod: she went to the counter furious cause the son that wanted bacon has no bacon on his and the one that didnt want bacon has bacon on his
gentoogod: i fell on the floor beside her and couldnt stop laughing
gentoogod: so i finally stood up and asked her to repeat, thinking maybe shes drunk
gentoogod: i swear to god she looked at me straight faced and repeated it. and her 2 sons were beside her mad that they didnt get the order they wanted


Tedward> so there's this pimp right. he's collecting money from his three ho's.
he goes to the first ho and asks for his $100. she says, "But I only owe you $50!"
he slaps her and says, "don't correct me, bitch!"
he asks the next ho for $150. she says, "But I only owe you $100!"
he slaps her and says, "don't correct me, bitch!"
now he goes to his third ho.
he asks for $200. "but I only owe you $150!"
he slaps her and says, "don't correct me, bitch!"
next he visits the fourth ho.
he asks her for his $250.
hold on, wait a sec
what?
you said three ho's, not four. idioth.
*Tedward slaps Thy_Dungeonman
Don't correct me, bitch.

#4488 +(4075)- [X]

Rizen: I thought you didn't bang chicks, only me.
...men.
GOD THAT WAS A BAD TYPO.


#177638 +(4062)- [X]

<@AntiHeiss> friend of mine went to jail last night
<@AntiHeiss> he probably isn't getting out for a while
<%The_Coolest> y?
<+Enyo> why?
<%The_Coolest> :o
<@AntiHeiss> it was a girl cop, she was pretty cute too
<@AntiHeiss> she said anything you say can and will be held against you....he sat there for a while and said 'tits'


Radio interview quote from Marine Corps General Reinwald and a female radio host. He wants to host some boy scouts at the training center for some practise excercises. As follows
: So, General Reinwald, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?
: We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and shooting.
: Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?
: I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range.
: Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?
: I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.
: But you're equipping them to become violent killers.
: Well, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you?
The radio went silent and the interview ended. You gotta love the Marines!


#277337 +(3714)- [X]

Personally its not God I dislike, its his fan club I cant stand#163301 +(4763)- [X]

God i really cant stand windows me
heh i know. i moved to win2k
* Felacio sucks huge cock
errr ME, not /me

funny

hey guys, i came across some funny videos

A new gush of wind

no more mistakes, no more lameness, no one else is going to bring me down. the new wind is bringing my boat to a different direction.

burn baby burn..

my friend told me the KTV next to the place where i play snooker burned. i think i'll take a drive past the place to have a look tomorrow. i'm currently sick right before chinese new year.

today was not bad, too tired to do anything after work.

guess i'll just go to sleep.

After a month.. or so

well, my sister's wedding just passed. after one hectic week, i've gained a brother-in-law.

the pictures i'll host somewhere after i dun get tempted to do something else.

i've got orders to burn the presentation that i did for my sister's wedding. It was played on the night of her wedding dinner in kl. yes, there were some tears, some memories made, all and all, very nice. i just hope my notebook burner doesnt crash on me.

congrats sister on finding a husband that u love and care for. congrats shawn and better take care of your sister. i hear that some of my sister's colleagues read my blog? -_-"" baka sister telling everyone.

i came back from kl... sick. my parents didnt let me go out as i looked too sick to them. i spent the day flipping through the entire dvd collection and picking movies to watch.

chinese new year is next week. after that, i'm going back to melbourne. i'm dreading it and cant wait for it. Promising myself not to be as lazy as i am now in jb.

merry christmas

it was a eventful christmas for me.

from the 22th to the 24th, we were at Cameron Highlands. that is me, my brother, my sister and my dad. my mom was at the temple in penang and my other sister was preparing our christmas dinner which was a success.

Cameron Highlands was not bad... a bit boring at night but u are probably too tired to notice after the day has passed. had heaps of vegetables and very little meat. and the sad thing is that, i woke up on the 24th with food poisoning that started off with violent vomiting. i'm still suffering the after effects. we had christmas eve dinner at Heritage Hotel (again) as we have tried all the christmas eve dinners from Equitoral Hotel all the way to Strawberry Farm Hotel and none is equal to Heritage Hotel. yes we have been spending a lot of time in Cameron.

on the way back, we stopped at some Kampung Nasi Padang, cooked the traditional Kampung way by a few people from Indonesia. (my maid's one is definitely better)i think the best was his Ayam Rendang and Ayam Kampung Goreng. there was another 4 tables filled by people from kl and one of their daughters was quite hot.

on the 25th, my sister roasted a leg of lamb which was medium to medium rare. it was superb compared to the Hotel dinners that we've been getting.

Damage: about 6 bottles of Whisky finished, 3 bottles of Gin, 5 bottles of wine and 5 cigars.
(drank by my dad and his friends), some coasters that i took from the hotel under the bartender's nose. it was a whole stack at first.. until i went to watch tv and entirely forgot about it.

26th, came back to a house that was filled with dust thanks to my driver and his friends. he was cleaning up the house, repainting and washing the curtains and he forgot to close the mosquitoes doors, so the house is quite filled with mosquitoes and dust. apparently he forgot that we were coming back to day. so there are newspapers beneath the windows. i think my dad is gonna scold him tomorrow.

oh yea, my beloved maid is coming back soon. the dodgy agent that delayed her finally got her visa done.

merry christmas

it was a eventful christmas for me.

from the 22th to the 24th, we were at Cameron Highlands. that is me, my brother, my sister and my dad. my mom was at the temple in penang and my other sister was preparing our christmas dinner which was a success.

Cameron Highlands was not bad... a bit boring at night but u are probably too tired to notice after the day has passed. had heaps of vegetables and very little meat. and the sad thing is that, i woke up on the 24th with food poisoning that started off with violent vomiting. i'm still suffering the after effects. we had christmas eve dinner at Heritage Hotel (again) as we have tried all the christmas eve dinners from Equitoral Hotel all the way to Strawberry Farm Hotel and none is equal to Heritage Hotel. yes we have been spending a lot of time in Cameron.

on the way back, we stopped at some Kampung Nasi Padang, cooked the traditional Kampung way by a few people from Indonesia. (my maid's one is definitely better)i think the best was his Ayam Rendang and Ayam Kampung Goreng. there was another 4 tables filled by people from kl and one of their daughters was quite hot.

on the 25th, my sister roasted a leg of lamb which was medium to medium rare. it was superb compared to the Hotel dinners that we've been getting.

Damage: about 6 bottles of Whisky finished, 3 bottles of Gin, 5 bottles of wine and 5 cigars.
(drank by my dad and his friends), some coasters that i took from the hotel under the bartender's nose. it was a whole stack at first.. until i went to watch tv and entirely forgot about it.

26th, came back to a house that was filled with dust thanks to my driver and his friends. he was cleaning up the house, repainting and washing the curtains and he forgot to close the mosquitoes doors, so the house is quite filled with mosquitoes and dust. apparently he forgot that we were coming back to day. so there are newspapers beneath the windows. i think my dad is gonna scold him tomorrow.

oh yea, my beloved maid is coming back soon. the dodgy agent that delayed her finally got her visa done.

what am i doing here

once in a while, i'll sit here infront of my computer and start thinking about what i've been doing in malaysia. comparing life in malaysia and life in melbourne. its quite boring lar.. i work from 8.30 to 5.30, come home to tired to do anything. than i'll just sit in front of my computer.

sometimes i miss life there, sometimes i dont.

a friend of mine was mentioning on her blog about her past and not opening up to people. i cant say that i blame her for doing it from what she has told me. but she should just try her best to push her memories aside, store them in her heart, and let her new love that she trusts(if she manages too)just occupy everything.

fantasy isnt true, yes we all know. but we can make somethings exist, for example, love. nothing comes easy without any suffering. i'm hoping that she'll heed my advice and move on.

sick

down with sore throat, flu, cough, fever and boredoom. uber boring here in jb.. i'm stuck at home playing cs, wc3 and just checking out friendster and utopia. my back still hurts, and i'm hungry! going out for dinner soon.. but by tomorrow i think i may get better..

too lazy to go to sg and no time also.

one day after work

"boy come down" my dad called

*walks down

"yea pa what is it??"

"u go into the toilet and left the tissue paper there"

"huh i didnt la.. i went straight upstairs"

"sure or not"

"yup"

"then what is the tissue paper doing there"

"how am i suppoed to know.. you ask it lar"

*dad laughs and walks away

*i still have to pick it up in the end -_-"" (note that it isnt mine)

backpain

this is damn lame.

firstly, my internet speed is supposedly at 1mbps but it is at 512kb/s. my ISP insists it is at 1mbps but when i run it for test on my burning notebook, it is at 512kb/s. not even 512 but at 300.

i sprained my back carrying 40 kilos. today is the 2nd time i went to see the shifu to put my twisted vessel back into place. he told my dad in teochew about all sorts of things that could have happened to me... like going for surgery etc.

working again tomorrow so sian. i cant even open new outlets for my dad's company. i just stand around listening to the salesman. i've been going to kota tinggi, pasir gudang, bukit indah. so many places but not the bandar area.. its like i dun really care where is the nicest places to makan there.. i wanna hang out in the city area, i'm not gonna travel 30 mins just to eat ikan bakar or tandoori chicken. maybe in melb i will not here in malaysia.

1 month since i came home

well, here is your monthly report.

okie.. i spend more money that i can get. for some reason even though the food is cheap, the portion is small. i eat a lot thus, i get fat. haha

month is ending soon, i'm getting my underpaid salary.

what i've learned, talk to old aunties and uncles. zzzz

i've been chionging so much food that i've had to cut down a lot. too many late nights here in jb. at least i'm here for 4 months. not 3 weeks where i really really chionged lolz..

like supper every night for 3 weeks and i went back to australia looking like a ball... well... almost haha!!

okie.. starting monday or tuesday, i'm gonna go down to the sultan palace to go jogging.

A day out with the salesman

"hey yusuf howz life lets go out lepak for a while lar"

"no money la"

"how come?? your sales is doing well right??""

"no lar.. my gf took all my cards and my bank account now i cannot withdraw money from my bank also so now i only have 200 dollars to spend until she comes back from kl" he said sheepishly

"HAHAHAHAHA U SAD CASE!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA in two weeks time, your gf will be asking u to clean her house and ordering u around with a whip"

"stop laughing at me lar dey not funny lar"

*laughs louder*

good morning

first sunday since i started work and i actually woke up at 7.30am on the dot. -_-"" i mean i went to a pub last night to see Sarahq playing drums and came home around 2.50 and slept at 3. than suddenly, i woke up around 7.30am. omg how lame is that now my mom is scolding me for not sleeping saying that i'll get sick!

call to tm-net

*dials

*goes through all the fussy phone commands*

*after 2 minutes listening to a lame on-hold sound

your call is important to us. all operators are current unavailable please hold*

*after another 2 minutes*

all operators are currently unavailable. please press one to be on hold or two to leave a message.

*presses one*

on-hold sound than, phone rings than after that, phone cuts.

smart right?

-_-""

email to SIA. replies after my flight has taken place. -_-""

australian way

everything is the same except

*your call is important to us, please hold while we get the next available operator.

Horoscope

haha everyone read

GEMINI relationship compatibility, astrology, free, love match, compatibilities, compatability, lovers, singles, relationship matches, mates, soul mates, astrology A Match Made In Heaven relationship compatibility, astrology, free, love match, compatibilities, compatability, lovers, singles, relationship matches, mates, soul mates, astrology

Being the strong willed character that he/she is, Leo has every intention of getting his/or her own way, but in some other, more warm hearted moods she/he does not seem quite so unreasonable to Gemini. Gemini has the strength and adaptability to let this happen some of the time. Gemini's probing manner will find that Leo is not only sincere, his/her over-demanding ways is designed to be sure that what is best for the two of them gets done.

Leo will have periods of pure laziness in which nothing gets done, and this changingness in his/her nature is beyond Gemini's comprehension. Gemini may feel a little jealous over Leo's ability to steal the spotlight wherever he/she goes, as this overshadows his/her own gregarious nature. Gemini is smart enough to know that Leo will soon shake off the lazy spell, and Leo is smart enough to give way so that Gemini can step into the limelight on occassion.

Both of these two signs have the ability to adapt themselves to the other's moods and ways, and this can make for a very good union, either because of the challenges it offers, or in spite of them. Leo also has the ability to forget and forgive Gemini's occassional neurotic outbursts, as well as respecting Gemini's desire for individual freedoms.

Sexually, Leo loves whole-heartly, and Gemini's variable desires are a complete mystery to him/her. Leo is quite capable of warm-heartedly breaking down any resentments that Gemini may harbor from the daytime, thereby easing the tension in the bedroom. A recommended union. This is a match made in Heaven.

any female geminis that i know??

SAGITTARIUS - Love Can Make It Work relationship compatibility, astrology, free, love match, compatibilities, compatability, lovers, singles, relationship matches, mates, soul mates, astrology

Leo and Sagittarius have the same warm, generous, loving traits, but what Leo has yet to learn is that Sagittarius 'gives' to everyone, but no one captures his or her exclusive attention for long; Leo could get his or her heart broken in this scenario. Sagittarius is apt to come up with some wild idea, or big gamble, in a chance to make a lot of money and will entice Leo's support, but should everything fall through, or losses prevail, then Sagittarius will still be grateful for Leo's love and support, but will make him/her share the blame.

Sagittarius must have his/her 'space' for exercising the personal freedom so well loved by the centaur. Sagittarius cannot understand Leo having fits of jealousy over a few harmless flirtations of his/hers, but will be very possessive of Leo. Being an outdoor person and a sports enthusiast, Sagittarius will not mind if Leo prefers to stay at home in comfort, as long as they can reach agreements on other recreational pursuits for togetherness.

If Leo does not try to tame this one, and does not condemn and argue over the sexual indescretions that he/she commits, Sagittarius may someday decide that there is no reason to look elsewhere for the satisfaction he/she can find at home. This can be a relationship that has the potiential to be very rewarding with the right combination from a Compatibility reading. Love can make it work.

sagittarius also ^^

ARIES - Love Makes It Work relationship compatibility, astrology, free, love match, compatibilities, compatability, lovers, singles, relationship matches, mates, soul mates, astrology

The attraction for these two could be fiery and instantaneous, filled with passion. Leo's need for being treated as the greater light in the household, and his or her need of constant attention, could cause a lot of trouble with the naturally undemonstrative Arian, whose 'me first' attitude directly rivals Leos own. Leo's need of constant flattery may meet with disapproval and resentment, as Aries believes that once said, is enough for anybody.

Should Leo begin collecting his or her compliments from other (attractive) sources, then Aries will make the effort to appease his/her Leo, and if the love he/she holds for the other is very strong then Aries will make a tremendous effort to become the greatest admirer of all. This will soon reach the boring stage for Aries, unless Aries can collect some of the same from Leo, as Arian's also enjoy being told how great they are doing and so forth.

Aries also needs this kind of encouragement if any project is to be finished, as they are true trail blazers, not finishers. Being so much alike sexually can be one of the important things that will keep them true to their commitments. Between the two of them, if one is loving and tactful with the other, meeting that persons emotional needs, then you will see a happy union that will last for a lifetime.

thc86-->> currently looking for Aries, Gemini, Sagittaruis girls. please post a comment if u are one. hahaha... not

from http://www.tarotbyjeanne.com/leo.html

My name

Tan:
You are an overly sensitive person, often falling into a savior-martyr role. You are very skeptical and have more than your share of bad luck. You have much enthusiasm with a driving attitude toward achievement in life. You can handle details well. You have a methodical mind.

Hai:
You are an 11th hour person, always succeeding just in the nick of time. The lesson of money is prominent in your life. You have a need to be up front. You are relatively demonstrative in your affections. You enjoy being stroked verbally and physically.

Chao:
You are a quick study, and can be self-taught. Your curiosity can get the best of you, but you must learn to concentrate. You need to learn the true value of material possessions. You have a natural protection in life. You are always saved - especially from yourself. You have a need to be up front. You have a great deal of loyalty to those you love. You have much inner strength.

woot

parents are going outstation for 4 days!! HAHAHAHA *EVIL LAUGH*

drove the car out last night until about 4 am... came back with no scratches and no summons despite my speeding however, i did see a car get summoned while i was chilling out with my friends..

however.... the next day, for no reason, the door behind the driver's seat jammed.

my mom made a huge fuss and i was like

*blur*

cant wait till i get my very own car here in malaysia and in melbourne.

but this 1.8l car i have isnt that bad.. has turbo thats abt all. acceleration is so fun.. especially when u beat those stupid Proton modified ones haha.. i went from 0 to 100 in like 14 to 15 seconds roughly, i didnt calculate but was dangerously fun lar.. i left my friend's car behind as we passed the traffic light. i did it on an empty highway though with little or no cars. i'm not that reckless.

my dream:
learn how to start drifting like a professional. (roughly 900 for a course that my sister told me of)
join car races. (unknown probably about 1k)
become medium-skilled at skiing. (roughly 900 for ski/snowboarding camp)
learn snowboarding. (as above)

cost: 3000 au roughly.

well.. time to start working. should ask my dad to pay me in au dollars. imagine if i work now, in australia, i get AU25 an hour and i would roughly earn 150 if i worked 6 hours in a day. 150 x 7 x 4 would be 4200AU. less 12-30% tax would be AU2940. tax returns of 5% i think. roughy more than what i would earn here in 2 months combined.

13 dolalrs is the minimum wage for macdonalds and dunno what else. 25 if u know friends that'll get u into nice jobs :) haiz.. here i am getting underpayed.. T_T no unions to complain here. T_T do u know in australia if u get underpayed below the minimum wage, bullied by your bosses, a single complain to union and they'll actually help you??

test

testing..

couldnt sleep

okay.. 2nd day back from early spring, late winter in melbourne.. god its like a suana here! hot like crazy.. how am i going to wear my clothes that i brought back for going out?? i'm actually showering in cold water.. something i havent done in like 4 years!

oh ya i got my first mosquito bite today and guess where it was... ON MY TOE! arghz.. so lamez why toe?? i remember i used to wear long sleeve pjs to sleep as i didnt want my hands/legs to get bitten by the massive swarms of mosquitoes that my neighbour's house seems to produce without fail.